BIRD

Give me a second I
I need to get my story straight
My friends have all been wondering
Why the hell I'm gettin in so late
Me fella hes just dumped me so I'm
Proppin up the bar
My seat's been taken by some skinny bitch
The fuck dya think u are?
And
just saw that lad I was meetin months ago
What was his name? I forget
but between the drinks and shotty things
He looks more like a 10 than 3
you know I'm trying hard to give a fuck
so if by the time the bar closes
and im almost falling down
You can take me home

Tonight
I'm a slag
So let's set our sex on fire
don't normally do this either
Swear to god

Tonight
Im a slag
Ur single? Pants on fire
U look like a liar
Gerra johnny on!

Now I know I'm easy
A lil bit sleazy
I guess that I
I just thought that maybe we could make me ex fella jelly
But youll never call
So let's have a ball
An blame the vodka that ur takin me home

LAD

Tonight
You're a slag
Don't blag that ur a nice bird
An u don't do this
All the time

Tonight
Ive got the clap
If you don't want ur crotch on fire
Then I can do you
Up the bum?

BIRD

Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight
Carry me home tonight
Fallin over on cobbles tonight

LAD

Ay bird ur deltas outside
You're just a nail an bail
Sorry love you've got no channy of stayin the night
If ur period doesn't arrive
I'll be at the airport in 5
Soz aba u not goin home tonight

BIRD

Tonight
I'm a slag
Give me taxi dough but I'm no whore
me thongs on ur floor
Where's me shoe?

LAD

Tonight
You're a slag
By the way girl I've got pyab lice
But u can't catch aids twice
Lucky for u

BIRD

So if by the time the bar closes
and I keep on falling down
You can probly take me home tonight

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