About Me
- @scousebirdprobs
- Liverpool
- Scouse bird with a vodka dependency and an acute sense of social observation. Always self deprecating, always blunt. Follow me on twitter WARNING: Non-scousers may not understand language of this blog.
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Keyboard Warriors
Keyboard warriors, we've all seen them, we all feel badly ashamed for them.
Whether they're tweeting a celeb with millions of followers saying "I hate
you, you're a slag." thinking they're actually gonna read it and be cut to
the core or it's someone announcing they're unfollowing you cos they don't like
something you've said. Either way, no ones arsed lad. Just do it quietly.
I mean if you're gonna tweet a celeb with something funny, I'm all for
that. I actually don't mind Gemma and Lydia from TOWIE but I will rip them for
the sake of comedy. Generic insults that could be used for anyone are shit and
meaningless though. "You're a slag" - Bad, "Lydia you were
obviously shit at colouring in as a child judging by ur inability to stay
within the lines, sort your fuckin lippy out." - Good.
Most of these melts are only after one thing, a reaction. So then they can
gain publicity and followers. Seriously you're as see though as a fuckin
freezer bag from home and bargain, do you think I'm fuckin soft? 9 times out of
10 I'll just ignore these people but if I feel they're especially gimpy I might
reply to them on my personal account, which doesn't have nearly as many
followers by the way, and stage a hostile takedown.
I find most people don't have the wit to go toe to toe with me in a
keyboard duel but it's funny watching them have a go. I mean there's a few I
fear, I wouldn't like to meet @ponderthepoint or my brother in a dark cyber
alley or anything. I'd deffo get stabbed with a cyber knife.
I remember gettin into a duel with some cocky little slag once on my
@boobleyboo account and she started bragging to ponder sayin "I'll
win." Will ya love yeh? I fuckin owned the bitch within 3 tweets and
ponder was DM-ing me buzzing off her. Sit down and shut up. She now follows me
on @scousebirdprobs....soz aba u child.
Then there was the time I had observed a twitter war going on between some girl and a woman cos the girl had been shaggin the womans fella. A few weeks later I made a joke to @TinheadFTM regarding blowjobs and this bint tried to front me sayin I was wrong - well a quick "If you knew how to give blowies ur fella wouldn't be bangin the bird from the pub" soon shut her up. Boom love. Take a seat.
Then you've got the unfollowers. These people think you're genuinely arsed
about them. These people seem to think that you will take a personal affront to
the fact that you will now no longer have them invisibly following you. Tweets
usually go along the line of this, "Unfollowed. You are boring me."
Right for a start you don't employ me. You don't PAY me to be funny. You don't
HAVE to follow me. You have no right to demand anything from me. If I'm boring
you, it's sound, fuck off. You just worry about entertaining your 7 followers
and I'll worry about the other 36k of them. I'm sure you have enough problems
going through life as an egg anyway.
Another one I get occasionally is "I've heard you're actually such and
such from round by ours therefore I'm unfollowing you." I mean what's that
got to do with the price of fish? I could be some bad wool from Runcorn sittin
off with me greasy side pony and me Kappa tracky and crop top but if you find
my tweets and blogs funny then what's it matter? I'm not by the way. *Runs
outside and checks she still has a purple wheelie bin* Plus the amount of these
'guesses' are way waaay off the mark anyway so see ya later, hater. If you're
really that bothered by who you 'think' I am, unless we've got beef in real
life why would you be arsed anyway?
So basically what I'm tryin to say is if you unfollow me, I won't miss you.
I'm norassed, so do it quietly. However by the same token to all my followers
who love my tweets and blogs, you're all sound and may your tans never go
streaky.
Inabit
@boobleyboo AKA @scousebirdprobs
xx
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1 comments:
And you didn't sign off "rant over" cliche free you are girl. I do look forward to your blogs wish you would blog more often. But I have a theory all of the bloggers I like (mainly beauty related)don't post very often and I reckon thats cos they're out having a life and finding interesting things to blog about. While the ones that post often dont have much else to do.
Inabit x
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